Conflicts
by Roxie Seine
Summary: Since I get to toy with this now, I'm gonna have some fun. Push the envelope and such. People put Julian and Miles together, they put Kira and (shudder) Dukat together- so why not Kira and Miles?
1. Default Chapter

For the record, I've been asked (I like to call it ordered) to take over this. From bets to this, huh? Well, that's fine. The dear girl has a conscience, I think she calls it- so, what? I don't? lol!  
  
This is what 'conscience girl' wrote- this is her work which I'm putting up with her permission- Conflicts  
  
Chapter 1  
  
"I don't mean to offend you," he kept his voice low, as he wanted to convey his honesty sincerity. These past few years he'd shed his dislike of the woman and honesty began to respect her for her strong values,what she'd endured, added to that she'd proven herself to be very loyal to her friends and co-workers. She'd fight tooth and nail for them. There was comfort in that.  
  
"But I never would have imagined our professional relationship taking this type of turn."  
  
She smirked. "You and me both."  
  
"I respect you no matter what," he continued, earnestly, "this situation doesn't change that. I can't thank you enough for what you're doing, I know this can't be easy for you, personally, I'm sure it's not how you imagined things turning out."  
  
She smiled lightly, feeling relieved and comforted, almost safe with his presence.  
  
"Well, no, it isn't," she admitted. She sighed, not wanting to come across as callus. "But, it's not that bad really." She smiled at him thinking how damn odd it all was. It was like being drunk, and not caring in the morning. Part of her knew there was no way, under normal circumstances she'd be attracted to him. He was a kind man with strong family ties and values, something she respected greatly. He also knew how to fight when the need arose, but truly was a man of peace. He had a family after all. But, her mind insisted, these are not normal circumstances. You can't help what you feel, and you are after all doing them a favor.  
  
It was just so damn hard to figure out where she stood on the matter! If only there was a solid ground, a clear line to follow, but the ground seemed to be slipping from her feet, things she was certain of before meant nothing now.  
  
"I don't know how easily we'll be able to forget about this," she whispered. Or if we should, she added silently. "If we should even be persuing this!" She looked into his eyes and swallowed hard, trying to keep her mouth from almost watering.  
  
"It's not like we wanted this to happen, we're both adults, and we can both agree that although we have a good relationship as friends, we wouldn't be atracted to each other othewise- no offense intended," he added hastily.  
  
She shook her head. "None taken."  
  
"We're agreed then?"  
  
"As adults." She nodded, sealing an unspoken contract.  
  
He stared into her eyes, and she pressed her lips together trying to reign herself in somewhat. Some restraint seemed neccesary, after all.  
  
"I know that emotionally, this is all new to you, confusing," he offered. "If.." he fumbled for words, "I can make this easier for you in any way."  
  
She stared at him, wishing he would just shut up and-  
  
"I appreciate that. I didn't expect things to take this sort of-" she searched for a word, "perspective."  
  
Enough talk, he thought. Be considerate! His concious warned. Curiously his concious said nothing about his wife sleeping in the other room.  
  
When he judged the time right, as it seemed only fair that he should take careful steps, he placed his lips on hers.  
  
She gasped and he felt her body weaken into his. He held her firmly, confidently, protectively. Her lips parted for his probing tongue, her throat sounding a low moan of desire.  
  
She closed her eyes holding the feeling. Of course she'd been with other men before, but this was different. The whole feeling was different. It was as if, well, he were caring for her, in a way neither of her previous lovers ever had or could. Gentle confidence. And it was exactly what she needed.  
  
When the kiss ended, she pressed her lips together, biting them, and held to him tightly.  
  
"Nerys," he murmered, "it's okay if you want to,"  
  
"No," she shook her head, her voice and the word sounding more like a moan then a word. And then she just looked at him, sentence unfinished, trusting him to understand her.  
  
"We wouldn't be doing this otherwise," he assured her.  
  
She nodded, feeling drunk. She licked her lips and gulped, wanting him with every fiber of her being.  
  
"Miles," she called to him as if at the bottom of a well, her voice sounding distant and strange, "can we forget about this in the morning?" She asked. Not meaning that she wanted to stop. No, whatever this man wanted to do to her, whatever was customary for humans, she didn't care. Her passion for him at that moment was fierce. She just wasn't sure if she'd be able to keep her hands off him at the breakfast table. After all, what would Keiko think? First Nerys took her baby, and now took on the woman's husband as a lover? 


	2. 2

Chapter 2  
  
"The last time I checked, I was still cognizant and capable of making my own decisions. Last time I checked, I didn't need anyone telling me what to do!"  
  
If she could actually spit fire, or do some other super natural feat, Nery's thought, she'd do it, as some sort of physical show of her rage and utter indignation for this stupid woman who seemed to have no concept of anything. Next thing you know, Nerys thought, she won't even let me get out of bed. I might hurt myself, oh I mean, the baby, she scoffed, by walking.  
  
"The last time I checked, you were pregnant with my son! And oh," Keiko feigned shock, " you still are!"  
  
"I'm not going to do anything to hurt him!" She insisted. "But, I'm not going to sit around like some invalid. This is ridiculous! You can't tell me how to live my life!"  
  
"You life is now my business-"  
  
"My life is none of your business!"  
  
"Now that you have my baby inside your body, yes I think I have some say! My son's life is my priority, and your life is yours- but now that he's in you, you can at least be responsible!"  
  
"I didn't ask for this!"  
  
"And you think I did? That I wanted some, some person I hardly know taking my son away from me?"  
  
She threw her hands up. "Take him back! Go to Doctor Bashir! Why in the name of the Prophets would I ever want this? This burden? And on top of all I have to go through now, I get you telling me what I can and can't do!"  
  
Keiko sighed, and closed her eyes.  
  
"Nerys," she began  
  
"I think you'd better stick with Kira," she spat out, every word calculated to sting like a slap to the face. And by the look on Keiko O' Brien's face, they did. Well good, she thought. Good.  
  
When Keiko regained her composure she began again. "I know this is difficult for you, it isn't easy for any of-"  
  
The entrance doors swished open, and Miles came in.  
  
Not missing a beat, Kira seized the opportunity, turned on her heel and headed out the door  
  
Confused, Miles called after her.  
  
"Where are you going?"  
  
"Back to my quarters!" She called back, her temper not cooled one bit, even by seeing him. In fact, seeing him made it worse.  
  
The doors closed again, and Miles looked at his wife for an explaination.  
  
She sighed and rolled her eyes, obviously annoyed.  
  
"Miles, I don't want to talk about it."  
  
He shrugged, turned around the doors opened for him and he stepped out into the hall.  
  
"Where are you going?" She demanded.  
  
Miles cast a look at her, and answered gruffly-  
  
"After her." 


	3. 3

Chapter 3  
  
She was staring out at the wormhole entrance, which was covered in deceptive stars for the moment, unassuming. The ordinary covering the sublime, the devine Her reverent thoughts vanished. .  
  
The problem now ? She wasn't in control of anything, her mind or her body- and that infuriated her. "Being under an occupation once was enough," she muttered. And now? Now, I'm just a prisoner of my own body, something again forced on me. Why should I pretend to be happy about it? She sighed again and stared out at the place she knew the worm hole to be. She hadn't been to temple- in how long? What was their reason for this? It certainly didn't make sense to Nerys. Of all the people they could have chosen for this? And none of them understood her.  
  
Miles, she allowed, understood to a slight degree her distaste for Cardassians. He hated them, found them a nuisance, but he'd never had to live with them. Be controlled by them. Have every breath taken in be tainted with their smell. Every blink of an eye held a memory wished to be forgotten.  
  
Keiko, damn her, with her thoughts of equality. They were all equal, she could imagine her saying, in her self righteous voice.  
  
She let out a hard sigh when she heard Miles' footsteps. She knew they were his. From her days in the resistance, she'd learned to train her whole body, even her ears to pick up details. From knowing the difference between the sound of a phaser blast and a disrupter, to knowing friends' footsteps from foes.  
  
Miles, she conceded, was a friend. Surprisingly, it didn't make anything easier. Hating him would be. His friend status, his familiarity were more dangerous now, like the concealed thoughts and weapons of a spy.  
  
But she was the spy, somehow. Unwittingly.  
  
She hated herself as much as anything, as anyone. Her own body, her mind's thoughts, unfamiliar-enemies.  
  
"Nerys"  
  
His voice broke her from further thought. Her shoulders stiffened in defense as she heard him approach, feeling the slight tremer of the floor beneath her. Senses, trained, she thought sarcastically- yet another trap. Her senses picked up on the forbidden. Without thinking, she bit her lip, swallowing, her breath suddenly heavy and shallow.  
  
When his hand touched her shoulder, it was like a jolt. With a gasp, Nerys jerked herself out of the torrid direction her mind had suddenly slipped into.  
  
He was in front of her now, staring at her, his eyes heavy with concern.  
  
She couldn't bear his concern, his pity. It implied she was weak. Kira turned her face away, looking at the wall paneling.  
  
"What is it Miles?" Letting her tone clearly show that she was at the end of her patience.  
  
"What happened?"  
  
"What do you care?" She spat out, her rage covering her wandering thoughts. She gulped again, light headed, and stepped away from him.  
  
Then she sneezed. Once, twice, three times. Damnit, she thought, not wanting her anger to be interrupted. What was worse? She saw amusement in O'Brien's eyes. Ignore it, she thought.  
  
"You think I need you following after me? Soemone to tell my troubles to? I can take care of myself! I don't need you or anyone else dotting on me like I'm a child!"  
  
She was furious. And exhausted. And miserable. Why can't I just be one emotion at a time?  
  
"I just wanted to make sure you were all right," Mile's voice was low and cautious.  
  
And when else would you have cared? She almost said the words aloud. "Miles, I" she found herself wanting to be held, wanting to cry, and it disgusted her. She straightened up and tried to meet his gaze. "I won't be told how to live my life."  
  
He looked at her with genuine concern and sympathy. Nerys grit her teeth annoyed with herself, and at the same time wanted to slap Miles. His regret just might be her breaking point. She certainly couldn't help what she felt, that was obvious, but danmit he could! Stop looking at me that way! She wanted to scream.  
  
Instead all that came out was,  
  
"She's your wife," she muttered, not sure what she meant by the..accusation? Reminder?  
  
"You have to at least learn to live together!"  
  
Jumping to conclusions, assuming. She felt something in her stomach clentch, knot, tighten. She gasped, trying to control the uncontrollable, putting a hand to her belly.  
  
"K-"  
  
She could have sworn she heard him stumble over the word Keiko, but maybe not. Her mind spinning, still not able to accept this thing inside of her. She let out a deep breath in a moan, her other hand to the port window for support.  
  
Get control, Nerys! Her mind, shamed by her sudden weakness, demanded. Shit!  
  
His arm was around her shoulders, another thrown over her stomach, supporting her. She let him, not knowing what else to do. She held her breath, trying not to wince openly.  
  
"He's just kicking," Miles' voice was low, reassuring.  
  
Her head was resting on Mile's shoulder, her hand dug into his upper arm. She let out a sound that could have been annoyance or pain, then took a deep breath in through her nose and let it out slowly through parted lips.  
  
"Don't worry," Miles continued, obviously not needing speech from her, "you'll get used to it soon."  
  
Kira shook her head, suddenly tired, very tired. "I don't think I can do this, Miles," her voice equally low, fatigued. She realized, once the words had escaped, how that was the first time, the first day, she'd spoken the truth to her vulnerability- or called him Miles.  
  
Besides last night, her conscience whispered.  
  
She straightened up at that sobering thought, regaining her composure. \  
  
"None of us asked for this," he offered apologetically. "It's not going to be easy to get through. If I said it was, I'd be lying."  
  
He shook his head, reached out a hand and tried to touch her. Nerys moved away, not wanting all her resolve to collapse.  
  
Miles looked hurt, but continued. "I know you Major, and. if you can get through a Cardassian occupation- how much harder can this be?  
  
"I'm fine now," she asserted, her voice shaky. The baby settled again inside her, and Nerys became aware of her heart, suddenly seeming to pound in her throat. 


	4. 4

He'd felt guilty, almost sorry for her;and again, guilty. Even though he wasn't really to blame. He knew Kira was a no-nonsense type of woman- she had to be it'd kept her alive. But that made her vastly different from other women those who were concerned with their looks, and what others thought of them. She also didn't like being resitricted or being told what to do, that was foremost. But she did have feelings, and she could be hurt just like anyone else. And he'd seen that in her eyes in Ops on her first day back. She tried valiantly to behave as though it were just business as usual- so what if she couldn't see her feet, had emotions and thoughts that were as reliable as quicksand, and oh yeah, was carrying someone else's child inside her body?  
  
He had to give the crew and the civilians credit. They all had the good sense to keep their mouths shut, not even asking how she was feeling. They'd ignore it just like she did. And for as long as she did. If she didn't move to acknowledge a change, they wouldn't. And that was good.  
  
But he could see and almost feel her cringe as the crew first laid eyes on her when she came off the lift- all the while pretending not to look. He saw color rise to her cheeks. Kira was a proud woman; he realized that then fully, and that's when he felt like'd he'd been kicked in the ribs with guilt.  
  
She made eye contact with him, or, he made eye contact with her, Miles couldn't be certain. But what he was sure of, what he was certain of, was in that brief instant before they both averted their eyes, was that he saw pain in her eyes. Hurt by his presence, the crew's discreet yet undeniable glances, by the life inside of her; any one of those things, or all. But hurt.  
  
What Miles knew was that this situation was causing an innocent woman pain. She didn't ask for this,and now look at her! For the first time in his knowing her, Kira seemed overwhelmed, ashamed, needing something. She'd tucked herself away behind a station board. As if she were silently begging the universe not to notice her now, in this time of uncertainty and weakness. She looked fragile. That struck him to the core, and made him furious. Such a woman should not have to be reduced to this!  
  
And so he felt guilty. Guilty because he'd shared in creating the child that now lay inside Kira. He was somehow at fault here. She should be taking pride in carrying a child , her own child, at a time of her choosing, created with a man she loved. But no, she was cheated of that now- she got this instead. This twisted version. Any future child bearing experience would be tainted by this. It wasn't right. But it couldn't be helped. Isn't that what Julian had said?  
  
It certainly didn't make him feel any better.  
  
Oddly enough he didn't feel anything close to that with Keiko. He felt Kira had received the brunt of the burden. Their baby was alive and well- Keiko hadn't really lost anything there. They hadn't. And he was grateful for that. But it seemed to him that Nerys was in a sort of prison. A victim of circumstance as well as her own body. A woman who, as far as he knew, had zero intrest for children, being forced to carry and bear a child- it just, well, it wasn't right. And what if she got the crazy idead into her head that she wanted to keep the baby? Keiko's words came back to him.  
  
And now that they were all living together, it occurred to him that Nerys was suddenly concerned with her looks- she seemed nearly ashamed, disgusted by her own body. It didn't take a genius to see that. Although he'd bet money she wasn't the type to look in the mirror anyhow- he could sense that she felt far from comfortable in her own skin. How a person could live with such a literal opinion of themselves he didn't know.  
  
The whole situation had to be eating her up inside. Something had to be donw to prove to her that she was still well, a woman who was stil considere strong, intelligent, and attractive. Any person wanted to be looked favorably upon by others. Nerys was no exception. He couldn't deny that now that Kira was carrying his child, and living in his house that he certainly looked upon her favorably. Still he never would have imagined the thoughts he'd entertained privately about her would become a reality. It was more than obvious that the sudden attraction was mutual. That had been a shock. One that had left him thrilled and rattled at the same time. But, at the time, he'd seen no other alternative.  
  
Start with the obvious. So he did. Starting with that small miraculous fraction of her anatomy, he used his knowledge to make her scream and weep in ecstasy. He was glad he'd turned the sound block on before entering her room. It felt good, not just to give her pleasure, but to watch her receive it. Good to know that he could please her. Make her less vulnerable. It was good to be needed, and he was. He couldn't deny that even before the idea of giving Kira pleasure aroused him.  
  
He kept giving it, until, exhausted by climaxes she cursed him out in Bajoran to make him stop.  
  
"Oh, Prophets," she'd moaned, gasping.  
  
He'd carried her easily enough to the bed- they'd started it all in the doorway- and carefully covered her beautiful body with a sheet. But not before he kissed her, on her forehead, her lips, her stomach, then back to forehead again.  
  
"Don't ever do that to me again," she'd moaned.  
  
He'd laughed then, seeing sleep already taking hold of her. He smiled at the cherib effect she gave off with her sweetness- Kira sweet? He'd thought.  
  
What have you done, O'Brien?  
  
One look at the woman deep in slumber beside him, the woman who was not his wife, and his mind had answered quickly, taken the burden off her.  
  
Have I? He'd wondered.  
  
At least you don't feel guilty anymore.  
  
Well, not guilty for the other thing, just guilty for this. Replacing one guilt with another.  
  
Miles let out a breath, shaking his head to clear his thoughts, turning his attention back to the replicator station he was trying to repair. Slowly. To keep busy.  
  
"Damn Cardi technology!" He cursed, more loudly then usual. But as he glared at the piece of metal, he found his thoughts wandering back to Kira, their night together, the next day's fight with Keiko.. 


	5. 5

Remembering that night- she hated it. She hated that she remembered it, that it happened, mostly that her mind brought it back to surface- often. At the oddest, most inopportune moments. She cracked down harder on crew mates then. Especially Julian, when he showed up in Ops for no real reason, other than to talk to Miles.  
  
Miles. She tried not to look at him. She was never certain what emotion would come out. Confusion, frustration, longing. It was best not to find out at all, avoid contact as much as possible.  
  
Sure, easy enough. I avoid him all day long at work, then go home to him at night. Avoid him, she smirked wryly, no problem.  
  
There wasn't much talk. It had been pure lust, for lust's sake. Maybe other reasons too, she conceded, but mostly lust. And that had been a relief, there was no pretense. And being with someone who didn't have ghosts haunting him, or religious or political status clouding the path, or any past knowledge or expectation of her. That had been more than a relief, more like a blessing.  
  
Had been.  
  
She was only later grateful she had the presence of mind to stifle her cries in Mile's shoulder. When she felt Miles collapse beside her, she vaguely wondered about Keiko, what she would think if she knew, or if in the morning she found him, still in bed with her. But instead of persuing the thought, she fell into a deep sleep, released somehow of something un- nameable.  
  
Nerys let out a slow breath, conscious suddenly of being in Ops, hoping her cheeks didn't look as red and warm as they felt. After all, she was in charge of things for the time being, as Sisko had gone to the school to see a presentation of Jake's. Something involving baseball, she guessed, and smiled. Jake was a good kid.  
  
Without thinking, her hand came down to her newly expanded stomach, and on the life inside her. She sighed again, more deeply, content in a strange way.  
  
He'll see Keiko, she thought. Then she shook her head, realizing she was helpless to stop the things that had started. Keiko didn't know, she reminded her conscious. It's odd how we're all connected. He can see Keiko at school, and instead of coming back and boasting of his son's genius (he really was a sweet kid) Kira would hear the verdict of her guilt. "Mrs. O'Brien said"...  
  
Nerys roused herself and walked as briskly as it was possible to do so, over to the replimat, and ordered her usual.  
  
Her hands around the warm mug, she relaxed. Without a second thought, she plopped down in one of the station chairs. If anyone has a problem, she thought warningly... too bad.  
  
She'd never felt anything like that before. Miles made love to her, and in that moment, that's exactly what it was. Really, she'd only had sex before, not that she hadn't enjoyed it, but there was something missing. She didn't know just what though, until now. It was expected, she was with men she loved and revered high up on religious and political stature. And that had been the problem. You can't really love someone who's on a pedestal. You cant' really do anything with a man like that. And more often than not, even with Bariel, the tie he had to their religion, often made what they did feel like a crime. Or worse, that Kira herself was somehow corrupting him, a holy man.  
  
With Miles it was so different. It was such a relief. He seemed focused on giving her pleasure, focused on her. Foreplay involving her midsection that made her laugh and smile. He made her entire body feel wrapped in warmth, and it was such a welcome feeling Nerys had wanted to cry, yet the next instant she was screaming his name.  
  
Again Nerys had to stop her thoughts, glance around her and be sure that all was well. She gave a genuine relaxed smile to Dax, who, whatever she happened to think about Nerys' current situation, was keeping it to herself. Jadzia had sense, which was more than she could say for other less fortunate people on the station. Like, Quark for example. Dax would wait until she was asked or spoken to first, and that was fine with Kira for now. She might seek out the Trill's age old advice, but not now, not yet. 


	6. 6

She'd woken up from a nightmare, near screaming, in which Miles had come to her bedroom at night, and then Keiko walking up to her saying, "You've been sleeping with my husband." The accusal. She ordered the computer to turn the room lights on.   
  
It wasn't so much the nightmare- Miles coming into her bedroom- that she didn't mind at all- and that did bother her. It was Keiko finding out, well, as much as the fact that, for whatever reasons, Kira longed for Miles. And that was something that, for many reasons, she couldn't just allow to continue.  
  
Kira didn't know if she could trust herself around Miles, or vise versa. In fact, she knew that not so deep down, she didn't even want to try to fend him off, or squealch her longing for him. Hormones or not, sub-concious or not, hell, she did want him. But now it wasn't just physical lust. She loved the way he made her feel, emotionally. Like she mattered. That he might actually love her. That at least for now, he honestly did love her. He'd muttered it afterwards in bed, and meant it. And that stabbed her heart with guilt for Keiko, as much as it filled her spirit with joy. "Prophets," she whispered, "what do I do?" Go back to my own quarters, she decided. But even as she crawled out of bed, ready to grab her bag and uniforms and go- she realized that wasn't right. She'd be taking something away from them, from Keiko- their son. But what if I end up taking so much more in the process of staying? Her husband? Her marriage?  
  
She put a hand to her stomach, a move she rarely did. Other people's hands, fine. Keiko and Miles and Molly? Of course. But hers? It seemed wrong. As if what was inside her now.... belonged to her. THat she had a right to it, to have her hands on it. The life inside her. But she had no right, she reminded herself, no claim. It was an accident. With many victims. She was a theif. She'd stolen another woman's child, in a way.  
  
Nerys sighed and removed her hand reluctantly. It bothered her that, lately, she'd started to feel comfortable with the change. THat she felt happier this way, fulfilled. A slice of life that was much deeper than duty and uniforms and beuraucracy. The idea that the life she'd been living before on the station the reasons she became so angry about issues- was really that now that her life was safe, she realized her life was empty, an almost shallow existance. She threw her life into her work and religion? No, she shook her head, looking down at her stomach, the bulge that held the life inside of her, she'd been running away from life. Working so hard to keep up a hard shell, but this? This was breaking it down, shattering it into pieces she didn't know how to collect or repair. Or if she wanted to. "Damn it," she murmered, and called the lights off.   
  
She'd walked past Odo's office without stopping to chat, for nearly a week now. With good reason. She didn't want to hear anything he had to say- unless it was strictly business related, and even then she wasn't sure. What really annoyed her, she knew, was that he knew- or that he was so close to the truth? He does know, she affirmed. He has to know. It must show all over my face, he knows me too well. I can't hide something like this, not from him. But she knew as well, that her secret was safe with Odo- safer, in fact, than it was with her. But that didn't mean she wanted to talk to him.  
  
Just in case he didn't know, she needed to keep it that way.  
  
She stared into her raktejeno mug, as if the answers lay somewhere in the liquid.  
  
Ever since that unasked for inquisition by Odo, Nerys felt exposed, paranoid. If I just told Keiko, she thought, then this would all be over with. But she doesn't deserve that. No, Kira decided, nodding her head firmly, I'll bear the burden alone.  
  
"Which part of his family are you? Daughter, sister, cousin?"  
  
SHe glared at the cup. Good thing he left out lover, second wife.... Oh! And that sickening look he'd given her, that patronizing sickening gaze! As if teasing a child with a love intrest, some childish puppy love.  
  
"Prophets," she prayed silently, "guide me in the right direction. Show me what is right."  
  
Just then a hand came from behind her, and deftly snatched the cup from the table.  
  
"Hey!" She barely had time to glance up- jumping to her feet was damningly impossible. Then she saw Miles, an impish grin on his face just before he swallowed the remaining contents of her morning beverage.  
  
"Jerk," she muttered, giving him a half- hearted glare as she did so.  
  
No matter how she tried, she couldn't stay angry with Miles for long. He winked at her, then hurried off like a school boy. 


	7. 7

Well, she had to be angry at someone, didn't she? She went back and forth between Kira and Miles, whichever suited her best at the current moment. It wasn't easy to do, knowing Kira didn't want the baby in the first place and that Miles had been against her trip to Bajor in the first place- somehow that made her more upset. As if this whole thing were her fault. If only she'd stayed home, aboard DS9, none of this would have happened.  
  
She slammed a fist down on the desktop, and sighed, knowing it wasn't really good to harbor so much bitterness. She glanced up at the empty school room, and was grateful for lunch breaks.  
  
She shoved more anger away from her- she didn't deserve it to be directed to herself, she didn't. She was the victim here, after all. Kira and Miles. Yes, she definitely heaped more anger at the injustice of it all on Miles. Which seemed fitting, considering. She could blame Julian too, and she often did- at his ineptness, oh anything really. It did get tiresome blaming only two people. Three made the game a bit more interesting.  
  
It wasn't as if she could really in good conscience blame Kira that much. After all, she knew what it was like when you were pregnant. Whatever kept her in a good mood. Kept her around, Keiko was all for. It was better for everyone considered. Molly, herself. Definitely herself.  
  
I wonder if I should tell her I know? She mused. But that might retard things.  
  
That alone, was enough, but take that coupled with the guilt and whatever other feelings Kira was already dealing with, and Keiko could pretty much have Kira do whatever she wanted. And allow Keiko to get away with anything herself. Guilt is a good thing, she thought.  
  
I don't want much, just my son back.  
  
Keiko smiled faintly, almost evil, in a way, if truth be told, but it felt good. It sure felt good. Between herself, and Miles; Keiko had Kira right where she wanted her. 


	8. 8

"Hi."  
  
"Hi."  
  
The silence lay thick between them, and Kira wasn't about to break it. She'd faced Cardassian inquisitions, brutality....but she never felt as vulnerable and as transparent as when she was around Keiko.  
  
Her heart rate increased, she wondered if Keiko knew she'd just spent the past hour, well, two really; being fondled and made love to by the woman's own husband.  
  
She closed her eyes for a moment as the memory flashed back to her. Her breathing grew more shallow as she recalled the pleasure he'd given her; how it was forbidden, they were both on duty... made it all the better. What with her able to alter work schedules, and Miles able to manipulate computer sensors and comm badge signals. They were perfectly safe.  
  
Nerys felt her cheeks growing hot and she shifted her hips, rocking slightly remembering and loving the feeling of holding him and his baby inside of her. She bit down on her lip to keep from sighing.  
  
"So, how was work today?"  
  
Kira swallowed, her eyes snapped open, her heart racing again, but for a different reason. Focus, she told herself. She managed a casual smile and shrugged, hoping her face wasn't red, hoping it didn't all show as easily as a view screen.  
  
"It was fine. You know, the usual." Her eyes met Keiko's and she forced a smile and wrapped an arm over her stomach.  
  
"Good," Keiko smiled back and nodded.  
  
Nerys sat bolt upright then, feeling as if she'd been slapped. The look in Keiko's eyes.....when she'd smiled just then, was almost.....almost.... malicious?  
  
No, Kira frown and shook her head. Impossible.  
  
"I can't put up with this any more! We have to tell her!"  
  
"You're insane! There's no way I'm telling my wife-" "What it's easier to admit what you're doing, or just keep doing it?" Her eyes locked on his. She was furious. And he was a coward. "It's not wrong to do it, but it's wrong to tell her?!"  
  
"Nerys!" He looked at her, trying to be reasonable, convincing, whelding.  
  
She wasn't buying it. She was pregnant, not stupid.  
  
"I can't live this way! It isn't right! What we're doing is"  
  
"Don't think I don't know it!" He shouted, and Kira was surprised by the obvious depth of his emotion. He's a tortured man, she realized. This is pulling him apart too. And I thought it was just me.  
  
She sighed, trying to regroup her thoughts, and sat down.  
  
"Miles," her tone was soft, "I'm not trying to accuse you, I'm not trying to do anything-"  
  
"I thought you wanted it," Miles' voice was like that of a young picked on child.  
  
Tormented, her mind confirmed. He's trying to please two women at once, and stay sane.  
  
She looked at him, feeling genuine sorrow. "Miles, I never thought," well I did, her conscious amended, I just didn't care. "I mean, I never meant to... to tear you apart like this. To do this to your family."  
  
She stared at him. What do I do now? What do we do?  
  
"It isn't your fault. At all. I should have had more control. I should have known, I should have had more respect that, you... well, you're not yourself, you couldn't neccesarrily control what you feel.  
  
An old familiar feeling of outrage filled her at his words. And that was a comfort. Something familiar. Something to hold on to. Something to keep her from losing her mind. But, she took a deep breath, I can't be angry at him. He's right. And he was just trying to do something nice for me. Very nice. She smiled involuntarily.  
  
Damn it, Nerys, focus!  
  
"No, Miles. It was my fault too. Well, it was and it wasn't. I think we're all victims here."  
  
He nodded solemly.  
  
"The question is, what do we do about it?"  
  
Miles looked uneasily at her. "You wanna stop?"  
  
The shock and disappointment in his voice almost made her laugh out loud. Although she knew what he was feeling, fighting between what feels very right, and what is right.  
  
She closed her eyes and tried to focus her thoughts, think of the temple, find some sage words of wisdom.  
  
"Not really."  
  
And failed.  
  
She laughed then, helplessly. And she was glad that Keiko was off somewhere with Molly.  
  
The thought sobered her somewhat, and she calmed. "Frankly," she smirked, "no Miles, I don't."  
  
She stood up carefully, putting a hand to her back. "Maybe you should just stay away from me."  
  
Miles snorted with laughter. "Yeah, like that's likely."  
  
Nerys walked away to her room, and locked the door behind her. Not that Miles couldn't unlock it...but she knew he wouldn't. And she was glad. She needed time to herself, to sort things out.  
  
She glanced at her bed, and sighed. Oh what the hell? I'm exhausted!  
  
She changed out of her uniform into a two piece sleep set, and gratefully lay down under the covers. A nice hot bath would be nice too, she conceded, but I'm just too tired to do that. It had been a long, very strenuous day at work, no matter what lie she'd told Keiko.  
  
A warm hand fell on her stomach. Damn you Miles. She smiled at the touch though, less than halfway between dreaming and awake. She sighed happily, still exhausted and thought, go ahead. Do it to me while I'm asleep. It'll make for one heck of a dream. She tried to laugh, but found her body was too tired. She smiled and sighed instead. Sex is good. Sleep is good. Both would be even better.  
  
She managed to laugh aloud then, and the sound brought her closer to conciousness, which was somewhat disappointing. She took a deep lazy breath in and rolled onto her back, the veil of sleep still cradeling her, making her movements slow and graceful.  
  
Nerys put a hand over the one that covered her baby. Mmm, no, she sighed and shook her head. Belly, she amended. But what a nice way to wake up. Her body squirmed then, wanting it, even though it was so tired. She smiled. "Miles". It came out as a whisper, but Nerys had wanted it to be inviting, sadly even her mouth was too tired to comply with her brain's wishes. Or was it her body's wishes? She sighed then, sleep reclaiming her and taking a firm hold. She turned her head to the side and gave into it. Sex can wait, she thought, Miles will understand.  
  
But just as she reached the blissful nothing of deep sleep something tugged at her conciousness. Something was wrong. She groaned and tried to motion away the thought, turn over, unhappy with the idea of waking, for any reason. I'm not on duty she thought, go away. Whatever it is can wait. Let me sleep, she warned.  
  
But her sense shook at her. Danger! Danger, they said. Something is wrong! Wake up!  
  
No! She moaned and tried to turn away. And then she felt it. The hand she still held against her stomach, the hand that had roused her from dreams....  
  
It wasn't Miles' hand.  
  
Oh prophets.  
  
Kira jerked herself awake with a gasp, praying for a nightmare.  
  
But no, there was still a hand on her belly and it wasn't her own. Nor was it Miles'.  
  
She looked up in the darkened room, realizing it was probably well into night by now, and saw Keiko's face hovering above her.  
  
No! No! She'd said it, she realized, out loud. Miles's name.  
  
And suddenly her whole body was shaking with fear, tears streaming down her cheeks. She wasn't supposed to find out this way! Not this way!  
  
She opened her eyes, and through her tears looked at Keiko. "I'm sorry!" She pleaded. "I'm sorry!" Her voice was thick and choked. "I'm so sorry!"  
  
Keiko pulled her to her then, cradeling her as if she were Molly.  
  
"It's okay," she whispered. It's okay. I know."  
  
Kira gulped down a sob, unable to believe her ears. Keiko didn't care?  
  
"I understand," she whispered, and Nerys felt the woman's breath at her ear. "You can't help it."  
  
Kira swallowed again, and shook her head hard. "No, I... I didn't mean it, it wasn't supposed to.."  
  
"Shh, shh." Keiko shushed her. "It's okay." She smoothed hair back from Nery's forehead. "It's okay."  
  
It felt like the room was spinning.  
  
Keiko's hand shifted on her stomach. "He belongs to me, but he's inside you."  
  
She felt Keiko's hand holding the baby protectively. But she was also touching Kira's skin, and it unnerved her.  
  
"I just want to hold my baby."  
  
Kira wondered if Keiko had been drinking, if she was dreaming, if this was all some horrible plan and Keiko was going to stab her, rip the baby out of her so that she could hold 'her baby'. Nerys shuddered.  
  
She held still frozen, as Keiko moved her hand on her stomach. Suddenly Nerys gasped at the touch, unable to forget Miles touching her that very same way that afternoon. She just barely kept herself from moaning.  
  
She heard Keiko's light laughter, and felt frozen.  
  
"I know," she whispered. "But I just want to hold him. I want to feel him again. He's my baby. I miss him."  
  
She kissed Nerys hard on the lips, and the second thought of Keiko's visiting Quarks dissipated. She didn't end the kiss until Kira's body had relaxed, finally.  
  
It was a relief, the tension in her body unknotting, finally. At least she isn't angry, she thought. She licked her lips without thinking.  
  
"We have to get through this, all of us," she was saying.  
  
And then Kira felt the bedsheets move, and watched dumbly as Keiko slid under them. She just stared.  
  
Keiko sidled up to her every body part matching, her arm draped over Kira's stomach. Her head fell back on the pillow, and Keiko let out a slow sigh of relief and contentment. Much like Molly did when she slept, Kira thought, and the absurdity of the thought didn't go without notice.  
  
Miles, where are you when I really need you? She sighed and cast a sideways glance at Keiko, almost asleep beside her. Well, this is what I get for holding the baby in front of her, she chided herself, remembering now how she's casually thrown her arm over her stomach while she talked to Keiko.  
  
It was like I was flaunting it, outright, she realized. But such an innocent action! She hadn't even thought of it. And that was the problem. She was starting to take it all for granted.  
  
She sighed and closed her eyes, realizing she was as helpless in this situation as anyone else. She rested her hands over Keiko's arms, and tried to go back to sleep. 


	9. Chapter 9

O'Brien blinked. Then shut his eyes hard and shook his head. That's not really what I saw, he told himself. Just the old imagination- a very overactive one, at that.

He let out a breath.

"Impossible," he muttered.

But...

Just in case... he needed to make sure, didn't he?

With a deep breath he opened the doors again. He blinked and looked hard. Stared. Then closed his mouth with his hand, backed out of the room and closed the doors once more.

"Not what I needed to see right now," he mumbled. "Not now."

He walked briskly away from the doorway and back into the main cabin. He let out a breath again and shook his head. That has an explaination, he thought trying to reassure himself. There is an explaination.

He'd wanted to talk to Kira about...everything. Even though he imagined the talk would turn inevitably to...other things. He had to make an attempt. Or, was she right? Maybe it was better to just stay away? But he didnn't anticipate Keiko getting to her first.

Miles sat down on the couch feeling rattled unsure of what came next. He inhaled and let out a puff of breath leaning back into the cushions. No, he thought, she wouldn't be in any way arosed if she happened to find him and Kira together. He smiled ruefully and shook his head. Or would she? He dismissed it again with a light chuckle. Ah, O'Brien, always keeping things in perspective. Not that that had been an easy task.. Hadn't Kira been boxing his ears only the other day about their new relationship He tapped his knuckles on the couch arm absently.

Trapped between she and Keiko It was a wonder he wasn't fastened to a barstool by now like Morn.

"Come one come all," he imagined Quark beckoning, "see the dejected ruin of an engineer badgered to death by his two-"

O'Brien's train of thought stopped suddenly as though cold water had been thrown in his face. He glanced back at the bedroom- Kira's room. He shook himself abruptly.

"Stop it O' Brien," he muttered, pushing himself up to standing. "You know she'd never go for it."

Then Miles steered himself back out the doors. Oddly, feeling less guilty now that he wasn't the only one in the marriage who'd done something..wrong. Even though technically he hadn't seen anything concretly wrong. Hadn't caught them in the act...and admittedly, was slightly disappointed.

He shook himself again, reprimanding his brain,"Stop it. Now."

However seeing the two of them curled up against one another was..wrong, somehow.

Or maybe you're just jealous. A neather-region of his breain spoke up.

Miles shrugged. Why not? At this point, anything was possible.

Well, maybe not anything….

Stop it O'Brien!


End file.
